You know you live in Utah if...

You may have to be familiar with the Mormon Church to get some of these, my comments in pink:

Green Jell-O with shredded carrots doesn't seem strange. (That's true. And gross.)

Partying means Kool-Aid and Cookies. (PARTY ON!)

Holding a Starbucks coffee cup is a major political statement. (In some parts of town, yes.)

So is wearing a Marlboro t-shirt. (All over town for this one.)

Copper, Powder, and Coal are soft and fuzzy. (And still sold at the malls...)

You understand the phrase "If she smokes, she pokes." (Not a clue what this means.)

You are sick of hearing, "But it's a dry heat." (Oh god, yes.)

Skin moisturizer is a necessity. (Ditto.)

You carry lip balm everywhere - And you use it regularly. (Who doesn't?)

You know why they invented the Ultra-Super Big Gulp (256 oz.)

Your 15 passenger family car has 10 Ultra-Super Big Gulp Holders.

You Think a Chevy Suburban is a car for normal families. (Well, yes, if you refuse to believe that CONDOMS can help you and your baby happy ways.)

You not only know what a Swamp Cooler is, your house came with one. (Yes I do, and yes it did.)
You can pronounce Tooele. (Two-Willa) (What a stupid name.)

The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. (Any question why I went to a school called WESTMINSTER?)

Your local gas station doesn't sell beer, cigarettes, or Playboy. (Beer and cigarettes, yes, Playboy, no.)

You have actually eaten 'funeral potatoes.' (Have heard of, never eaten. Don't know what they are.)
"The Church" only means one thing - no matter what religion you are.

That's weird, there is nobody on the freeway - oh, it's Sunday. (Nice day, Sunday.)

You feel guilty for mowing your lawn on Sunday (stares that could kill).

You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle inthe same month.

You are not surprised to hear words like Darn, Fetch, Flip, oh my heck, and Shoot. (and dang and shiz-bit and fudge and gosh and freak...)

Your neighbor is a bishop, but he never wears fancy robes and works at 7-11.

Democrats are evil, smoking, baby killers? (hee hee...)

You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.

Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.

Hunting season is a school holiday. (?)

Your Jr. High school forced you to take gun and hunter safety classes. (I don't know about that, but you can get a hunting licence at Shop-Ko.)

Buying enough food for two years is not strange. (What's a garage for, if not for storing large bags of wheat?)

The largest liquor dealer is the state government. (And it's closed on Sunday.)

You have at least one set of relatives with the surname Young or Smith.

What is a Keg? (This doesn't even deserve a response.)

You can be a Gentile AND Jewish at the same time. (Like anyone says that anymore. Insert eyeroll here.)

"Jazz" refers only to basketball. (And there is a John Stockton Drive, Karl Malone Toyota, Larry H. Miller Honda...)

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

Drinking Mountain Dew is living on the wild side.

You forgot to water your lawn yesterday and now your grass is dead. (LOL! So incredibly true!)

You've done LDS, but never tried LSD.

Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist. (Not so much, but I'm transplanted.)

You know tons of Idaho jokes. (The only one I know is my brother....j/k!)

Pot is something you cook vegetables in.

Why did that guy say Zion was in the Middle East?

Wendover means gambling and Evanston means fireworks. (Evanston also means Porn Warehouse and 5% liquor.)

It's an hour drive to the nearest Lotto ticket seller.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.