Cass
I've been having a hard time lately concerning men. I am so ready to be married, to have a family. I just can't find anyone who wants that with me. Cass in particular. Had he dropped the pot smoking, he would have been perfect. I wanted him to want me as badly as I wanted him. I remember how I cried when he chose smoking or going over to a friend's house, or working, over me. I haven't forgotten how upset I was when I thought he changed his number instead of dumping me outright. But I also remember how sweet it was when he brought me a cup of pumpkin spice cappucino at work because I'm always cold and I like pumpkin spice. I remember how I was frozen at his house and he put his sweatshirt in the dryer for me. I still wear it when I'm missing him more than at other times.
I wanted more, I wanted everything from him, and he wasn't willing or able to give it. I pushed too hard for it, and I only succeeded in pushing him away from me. I miss him every day. How can I not? Our first date we went to Luna Berry, a frozen yogurt and crepe place near work. Our second a week later, we went for a walk at Memory Grove Park, and went up by the Capitol Building. We had our first kiss on the third date in my living room, on my couch. Our fourth, we went up to his house, watched a movie, then went up into the mountains to look down at the city. It was the most romantic date I'd ever had. My very favorite date though, we went to Wheeler Farm on Sept. 17, 2009. The day began early, coffee at Starbucks. We headed to the downtown library, where we climbed the steps to the roof. Then we went in and shopped around at the little shops inside. He bought me 2 used books and a bracelet. A bracelet HE noticed on the shelf and HE noticed matched my Then we drove down to Wheeler Farm, where we looked at the animals, climbed in the treehouses, walked hand in hand around the trails, and stole kisses all over the park. We ate sushi for lunch, and came back to my place where we made love for hours.
I do want to know what exactly made him turn on me so fast, and to me it seems, out of the blue. He'd introduced me to his family. Brought me to Thanksgiving dinner. And now...he won't return my texts. I know I have to let him go, but part of me is still sitting here thinking, "What if...?"
I wanted more, I wanted everything from him, and he wasn't willing or able to give it. I pushed too hard for it, and I only succeeded in pushing him away from me. I miss him every day. How can I not? Our first date we went to Luna Berry, a frozen yogurt and crepe place near work. Our second a week later, we went for a walk at Memory Grove Park, and went up by the Capitol Building. We had our first kiss on the third date in my living room, on my couch. Our fourth, we went up to his house, watched a movie, then went up into the mountains to look down at the city. It was the most romantic date I'd ever had. My very favorite date though, we went to Wheeler Farm on Sept. 17, 2009. The day began early, coffee at Starbucks. We headed to the downtown library, where we climbed the steps to the roof. Then we went in and shopped around at the little shops inside. He bought me 2 used books and a bracelet. A bracelet HE noticed on the shelf and HE noticed matched my Then we drove down to Wheeler Farm, where we looked at the animals, climbed in the treehouses, walked hand in hand around the trails, and stole kisses all over the park. We ate sushi for lunch, and came back to my place where we made love for hours.
I do want to know what exactly made him turn on me so fast, and to me it seems, out of the blue. He'd introduced me to his family. Brought me to Thanksgiving dinner. And now...he won't return my texts. I know I have to let him go, but part of me is still sitting here thinking, "What if...?"
posted by Richelle at
9:22 PM
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