Adventures in Babysitting or The Wisdom of Children
Last night 3 year old Lela asked me if my ring was a wedding ring. No, I answered, it's not a wedding ring. Swear to Buddah, I'm not making this up.
"Oh. Why?"
"Well, I'm not married."
"Why?"
"I don't know!"
"Oh. Is your mommy as old as Grandma?"
"Mmmm...she's old, but not a grandma."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't have any kids."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not married."
"Why?"
"Because boys don't ask me out."
"Why?"
"I don't know!"
"You should look for a husband." Don't I know it.
Hee hee hee...that's not all. When I picked her up, I told her she was getting too big and one day I wouldn't be able to carry her anymore. She said when she's five, she'd be too big, and then one day she would be old and she didn't want to be because no one could carry her.
"It's ok Lela, when you're old, you'll shrink."
"I'll shrink?"
"Yep. Old people get shorter."
"Then when I'm old, you'll carry me again?"
(laughing) "When you're old Lela, I'll probably be dead!"
(frowning) "Why are you laughing Richelle? That's not funny."
I'm a terrible babysitter. Not only did I inform a three year old about mortality, her 5 year old brother needed to take cough medicene before bed. Though it was bubblegum flavored, he didn't like it and tried to sip it. I finally said,
"Just shoot it Landis."
"Shoot it?"
"Yeah. Drink it really fast, so you don't taste it as much."
"How?"
"Here watch. Pretend this is your medicene cup. Do this. (mimes a shot.)" He does it.
Oh crap. I just taught a 5 year old to do a shot.
"Oh. Why?"
"Well, I'm not married."
"Why?"
"I don't know!"
"Oh. Is your mommy as old as Grandma?"
"Mmmm...she's old, but not a grandma."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't have any kids."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not married."
"Why?"
"Because boys don't ask me out."
"Why?"
"I don't know!"
"You should look for a husband." Don't I know it.
Hee hee hee...that's not all. When I picked her up, I told her she was getting too big and one day I wouldn't be able to carry her anymore. She said when she's five, she'd be too big, and then one day she would be old and she didn't want to be because no one could carry her.
"It's ok Lela, when you're old, you'll shrink."
"I'll shrink?"
"Yep. Old people get shorter."
"Then when I'm old, you'll carry me again?"
(laughing) "When you're old Lela, I'll probably be dead!"
(frowning) "Why are you laughing Richelle? That's not funny."
I'm a terrible babysitter. Not only did I inform a three year old about mortality, her 5 year old brother needed to take cough medicene before bed. Though it was bubblegum flavored, he didn't like it and tried to sip it. I finally said,
"Just shoot it Landis."
"Shoot it?"
"Yeah. Drink it really fast, so you don't taste it as much."
"How?"
"Here watch. Pretend this is your medicene cup. Do this. (mimes a shot.)" He does it.
Oh crap. I just taught a 5 year old to do a shot.
posted by Richelle at
1:30 PM
10 Comments:
How come I didn't get cool babysitters like you when I was growing up? Now those are some practical skills!
Greg says that you have inspired him. I am very afraid.
LOL! Make sure Greg doesn't teach little Kristy Richelle to shoot her medicene, or anything else for that matter, until she's at least 18!
Fat chance! The idea has already implanted itself in his mind... there's no going back now. You should hear his teething ideas, and they do involve whiskey!
Aren't you supposed to give whiskey for colic? At least according to old wives tales.
Probably, although Greg thinks whiskey is the answer to everything.
His mother laughed when I told her, and thanked me saying now she wouldn't need to teach him that!
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