Update

Bastard called this morning at 10:20 am. Transcript to the best of my memory:

"Hey! How are you!"

"I'm fine."

"You're fine? When I say I'm fine, I'm mad at the world."

"Well, I'm not mad at the world..."

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not real happy with you, but I'm not mad at you."

"Is this about yesterday?" (Oh yeah, as anticipated, he did not show up yesterday morning.)

"Partly."

"I'm sorry. I had to work."

"Well, it's not that like I really expected to go anyway, but you still could have called."

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"That's something you'll have to come up with on your own."

"I was afraid you would say that."

*a good 30 seconds of silence*

"Well, uh...are you going to church today? Or are you going with Katie?"

"I don't think so. I just got up like 5 minutes ago, I won't be ready in time."

"Oh. Ok. Well...I guess I'll see you later. Have a good day."

"Thanks, you too."

I hung up here. Seriously, are you kidding me??

I'm not missing!

Sorry, life isn't interesting. Nothing happens. Day in, day out, it's all the same. One day blended into one another. It's nearly the end of August already, and I can't believe time can go so fast. It wasn't that long ago that it 4 1/2 months to Christmas was an unfathomable amount of time. Now, time can stand stock still and still fly past unnoticed.

~*~*~*~

About a month and a half ago, this man showed up on my doorstep. He's close to my age, and lives about a block away. I like him, he's nice, always asking if he can do anything for me. He's got a girlfriend, but I saw no problem with being friends. We like several of the same things, and can talk about rather deep matters.

However lately, I've been noticing that he doesn't keep promises he makes to me. Not really anything big, just things like saying he'll call and doesn't, saying he'll drop by at a specific time and day, and doesn't. He'll call later, not mentioning the faux pas, but talking about trivial matters and whatnot. Three weeks ago or so we made plans to go to the Farmer's Market downtown tomorrow morning. I have no idea if we're still going, I haven't heard from him since last Monday...when he said he'd come by between 5:00 and 6:00 on Tuesday...and didn't. If we go, I'll bet anything he'll call about 20 minutes before he wants to leave. I haven't known him that long, but I have no use for someone who can't keep a simple promise.

He's been trying to get me reactivated in the church, and because I like the guy, I gave it a try. 6 weeks worth. I don't feel comfortable at church, I can't even honestly say I believe in all of the doctrine anymore. I have no inclination to change my lifestyle, which is looked down upon by the general member population. Oh sure, the people I've met are very nice, and I don't doubt they are sincere, but I mentally vomit when I meet some of them. Not all, just the ones that are a couple of years younger than me, who have been married for 6 months....after dating for 4...not even knowing each other a year yet.

Anyway, church starts at 11:00. The first 3 weeks or so, he called the night before to ask if I'd like to go with him. The last 3 weeks, he's called at 10:30. When we do talk now, it's about churchy stuff that he wants me to do: pray, pay tithing, read the bible. I'm really starting to feel like his little project.

~*~*~*~

I went out with Jeannie last night; we saw The Lake House. Terrible movie, but beside the point. She and I haven't seen each other in a few weeks, so we ended up talking in her car for an hour or so when she dropped me off. Ever have those moments where someone is talking to you, but your mind wanders away and when you come back, the person is still talking, but you have absolutely no idea what is being talked about? I did this last night, and really had to keep from laughing, because, well, given the topic it would have been pretty rude.

~*~*~*~

Ok, so I guess this was more cathartic than I thought. So is this website. I've sent a couple of postcards to it. I don't expect to see them again, but just knowing that not only the guy who runs the website will read it, but probably a handful of postal workers, it's lightening.